Wednesday, February 25, 2009
is it over?
i've been thinking.
will it be the best way for both of us.
i'm still waiting. and im wondering if i should.
i guess she has been busy.
studies, health and whatever other things.
perhaps all these things are lesson which i never learnt from previously.
and things just keep repeating.
or are these retribution from what i have done.
anyway, ns has been coming up to me.
i think i will be in end of this year or early next year.
i guess i'll have to face this alone.
and after this, i'll be in another new world.
i guess i'm not the one for you.i had my happiest moments with you.see ya if we ever meet again.take care of yourself.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 3:27 PM
Saturday, February 21, 2009
sometimes,
i wonder what am i working so hard for.
trying so hard to go the extra mile.
in return, all i get is shit.
maybe what i'm thinking is all wrong.
i just can't get things right.
fucked-up work.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 3:16 AM
Thursday, February 19, 2009
i don't know why. but i felt as if i was under lots of stress.
every night i just couldn't get to sleep.
like the previous night.
i forced myself to sleep.
laid on the bed but i cant sleep.
1 hour of tossing and turning.
i wonder how long more can i handle this.
losing control of memory and temper.
i just keep forgetting things.
for the don't know how many times.
i lost my key.
flared up at work today. made sarcastic remarks.
i just hope this whole thing will just get over.
mad world. crazy me.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 3:51 AM
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
into the times when everything goes slow.
step by step, into every other things.
more changes coming ahead.
what will i be.
mad world.
i fell in love with this song.
i just love it.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 3:02 AM
Monday, February 09, 2009
stressssssssssssssssssssssss.
fucked up work.
8 more months to go.
endure!!!!!
maybe i should just change another job.
i wonder what else suits me.
but 1 thing i sure know.
i love to make people happy.
we shall see.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 12:07 PM
Saturday, February 07, 2009
i kind of getting used to it.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 12:06 PM
Thursday, February 05, 2009
bad day.jeff's gf came to pick him up after work.
somehow i just felt so envious.
forget it.
just go and sleep.
i will forget the next day.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 10:58 PM
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
it just seems forever for the next day to come.
running and running, hoping the breeze will take me away.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 2:35 AM
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
to tell the truth.
i'm still not used to all these changes.
but there's nothing i can do and only to accept it.
i felt like a ship that had lost its direction with no land in sight,
not knowing when and where it will reach ashore.
when living is just for the sake of living.
what's the purpose.
i rather live for the ones i love, doing the things i like.
profession or passion.
my chef always tells me about them.
perhaps he thinks i'm not suited for this industry.
cause i myself felt i've been stuck in the middle.
kenneth, when will you be truly enlighten?
i chose my path.
i saw the trees, the flowers, the beautiful everything.
i thought this is it.
but still things changes,
there are days and there are nights.
there are rain and there are shine.
however it just seems like the rain and the nights were forever.
i'm still waiting for my sunshine.
as i count the seconds, minutes, hours and days.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 3:09 AM
Monday, February 02, 2009
after soooooooooo long.
i finally get to know what she is thinking. from her friend.
i wonder if she still reads my blog.
but still i just want her to know.
whatever she like or dont like, pls tell me.
relationship is not only abt feelings for each other.
it's also communication.
no one will know what u are thinking abt.
and dont assume they will know cos no one does.
only by communicating then we can understand more abt each other.
this is the only thing i request from you.
met up with some of my old friends today.
had a long chat abt the past and future.
abt relationship and plans.
different people do have different thinking and opinions abt being in a relationship.
some looking for gf as their wife.
and others a gf as a gf.
different expectations.
therefore i still think communication is damn important.
in anywhere anyplace.
family friends relationship.
communication is the only way we can understand each other.
lastly i apologise if u think i've been too sticky.
it has been too stressful for me at work.
i just wanted to find someone to talk to, to share my feelings.
and of cos i would look for my gf first.
i didnt know it had eaten into ur private space.
thank god. i finally get to know it.
however i wonder if i can still salvage this relationship.
i hope i can.
my apologies. SORRY.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 3:20 AM
Sunday, February 01, 2009
i really just wonder what happened.
but no one is able to tell me anything.
even her.
i guess im a terrible person after all.
a person hard to get people to open out to me.
failure thats what i call.
damn fking failure.
close to 21 years of living.
life's still a big fked-up mess.
i dont know how long more do i have to wait.
december 14. everything changes just after that day.
i just it's still my problem.
after all, it has always been.
just tell me what happened.
i've prepared for the worst.
Nerdy Cheesecake! 1:08 PM
